Hey guys. Well, I’m trying to keep my chin up and keep on fighting the good fight against my ED, but days like today make it *very difficult* to keep on going.
Today was a dreary day that didn’t get about 48 degrees, and it was just not a good day. Luke woke up late for school and was in a mood, and he took off to hang out with a friend for a while. I admittedly was pretty cheerful until a triggering incident happened at about 5:45 in the afternoon (I’ll tell you about it).
Here’s how the day went “food-wise” ~
I enjoyed one of my guilty pleasures for breakfast -it looks like eggs on toast, right? Well, it IS … but it has a secret lurking beneath the egg that you cans barely see! You might spy a smidge of purple … yes, I eat jelly on my toast with my eggs. It’s SO good – don’t knock it until you try it! I was pretty happy after this meal.
After breakfast, I took a shower … while the puppy pooped all over the floor and promptly ate the majority of it 😦 . ICKY! I cleaned up, asked Luke to go to Petsmart for puppy shampoo, and Serina fell asleep after her escapade.
Lunch was very straightforward – a mix of veggies (carrot, broccoli, cauliflower, green pepper, and cucumber) seasoned with S+P and ranch for dipping. Nothing wrong here.
Luke went out with a friend to Blue Sky, a local burger joint, for some cheese fries, and he brought me back some, which was very sweet of him.
Unfortunately, this is where things turn badly – I ate about half of the fries and then I put the rest in the fridge for later. About two hours later, I wanted the rest of my fries, but in Luke’s eyes, I was eating too soon and should be full from my earlier snack.
Basically I felt highly criticized for wanting to eat … this sent me into a SPIRAL of depression, sadness, triggered my body image issues, and I have now resolved to not eat much anymore. It’s too much to deal with, food is simply too complicated for an idiot like me. I also forced myself to measure my waist and felt highly displeased with the number I saw, so I need to get that down for sure. 😦 😦 😦