The Day that Shouldn’t Have Been

Hey guys. Well, I’m trying to keep my chin up and keep on fighting the good fight against my ED, but days like today make it *very difficult* to keep on going.

Today was a dreary day that didn’t get about 48 degrees, and it was just not a good day. Luke woke up late for school and was in a mood, and he took off to hang out with a friend for a while. I admittedly was pretty cheerful until a triggering incident happened at about 5:45 in the afternoon (I’ll tell you about it).

Here’s how the day went “food-wise” ~

I enjoyed one of my guilty pleasures for breakfast -it looks like eggs on toast, right? Well, it IS … but it has a secret lurking beneath the egg that you cans barely see! You might spy a smidge of purple … yes, I eat jelly on my toast with my eggs. It’s SO good – don’t knock it until you try it! I was pretty happy after this meal.

After breakfast, I took a shower … while the puppy pooped all over the floor and promptly ate the majority of it 😦 . ICKY! I cleaned up, asked Luke to go to Petsmart for puppy shampoo, and Serina fell asleep after her escapade.

(She’s so cute that it’s hard to be mad with her.)

Lunch was very straightforward – a mix of veggies (carrot, broccoli, cauliflower, green pepper, and cucumber) seasoned with S+P and ranch for dipping. Nothing wrong here.

Luke went out with a friend to Blue Sky, a local burger joint, for some cheese fries, and he brought me back some, which was very sweet of him.

Unfortunately, this is where things turn badly – I ate about half of the fries and then I put the rest in the fridge for later. About two hours later,  I wanted the rest of my fries, but in Luke’s eyes, I was eating too soon and should be full from my earlier snack.

Basically I felt highly criticized for wanting to eat … this sent me into a SPIRAL of depression, sadness, triggered my body image issues, and I have now resolved to not eat much anymore. It’s too much to deal with, food is simply too complicated for an idiot like me. I also forced myself to measure my waist and felt highly displeased with the number I saw, so I need to get that down for sure. 😦 😦 😦

At least Luke also brought pup home a Kong toy, which we put a treat in … she went to town, and it was super cute.

Well that’s all I have … this post really sucks, I realize. 😦 Oh well. Here’s to a better day tomorrow …

~ Mandy

 

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