The Mysterious 150

Let’s discuss The Mysterious 150 … pounds, that is. That’s right. I currently weigh 150 lbs, ya see. HOWEVER. I’m not pissed off about it, as you might not have guessed! I look *so* different now, despite weighing nearly the same amount about 3 years ago!

So why do I look GREAT at 150 lbs instead of chubby? I honestly am pretty  dumbfounded (Luke is too, which is rare for Mr. P.A. Student/Weightlifting Fanatic). Perhaps it’s because I eat a ton of protein, perhaps it’s because the ED has faded (why yes, I had bulimia with anorexic tendencies when all of the old pictures below were taken … heavy people can have eating disorders, bitches! It’s actually VERY common, so don’t judge!), perhaps it’s because I’ve gained muscle and little fat in my recovery, perhaps it’s some supplements that I take, perhaps it’s because I’m not drinking so many empty calories … perhaps, perhaps, perhaps this and that. I simply don’t know the answer.

Here are some comparison pics to prove my case. This is me at about 155 lbs in January of 2015 (I was working at James Avery at the time) …

… at 158 lbs that summer …

… at 163 lbs … … and back to 158 lbs.

And HERE’S MY GLORIOUS ASS NOW!

I look *sooo good* … yes, I need to tone up, but dayum!

Again, I honestly don’t know how this happened – I’ve only started lifting again very recently, so it’s not weightlifting that’s done it (perhaps?). I did lift heavily until this April and May-ish before I got stuck in the throes of the eating disorders again and had to go to Bellevue for treatment. Admittedly, I gained only 5 lbs in Bellevue (I came in weighing 135 and left at 140 on the dot).

Aaaaand after Bellevue, I simply stopped weightlifting. To be frank, I was floundering in my own miserable sea of boredom and uselessness and dumbass schemes until I decided to get a job in late October.

Now, of course, I have two jobs and am on my feet a goodly portion of the day. My outlook on life has changed from dreary to cheery. Surely feeling useful and chipper after a long bought of depression and despair (thank you, Bipolar I) has an impact on how our bodies change? I think so!

And I’m weightlifting now, and I’d like to get to 160 lbs to see what 10 pounds of muscle on my body looks like!

And that, my friends, is the Mysterious Case of the 150.

~ Mandy

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