Keep on Growing + New Workout Duds

 Eats as of Late ~

Opal apples with Tajin.

Protein shakes.

Torchy’s Tacos.

Chicken Caesar salad on garden mix.

Cucs and tomatoes with Opa avocado cilantro dressing.

More cucs, tomatoes, with Opa dressing and salsa.

Rotisserie chicken.

Pork Chops.

Fresh mango with Tajin.

More apples.


Green monster smoothie.

Another Caesar salad!

Yet another apple.

A Boar’s Head turkey and bacon sandwich with ranch.


Back Day ~

Arm Day ~

Another Arm Day (with chest and legs in between)

I’m super pleased with my progress!

Workout Purchases from FP

Grand Stand Longsleeve Layer

About Town Harem Pant

Happiness Runs Bodysuit in black – I ADORE the Happiness Runs bras, so I expect the highest from this bodysuit.

Bubble Slide Set in Purple – for pinning back my bangs and fly-aways!

~ Mandy

Protein Shakes + Piercings

Howdy there folks! Just another day in the life for ya ….

Instead of just fruit for breakfast, I’ve been drinking protein shakes – just a scoop or two or protein, a banana, and milk with ice.

Lunch today was a conglomeration of turkey, Laughing Cow cheese, cucumbers, and tomatoes with a little honey mustard.

Gym time for an hour and fifteen minutes today! We did legs. Afterwards, I had Luke snap a few “before” pics – I hope that I see improvement soon with consistency and less carbs and sugar.

An Ambrosia apple as a post workout snack!

And a kombucha (not my favorite flavor but it was refreshing enough in the heat) from Natural Grocers where I browsed for about 30 minutes …

….. and then a little Boar’s Head snack tray with Gouda chicken salad, cheese, a few crackers, and some withered grapes which I didn’t eat.

Last night Luke mentioned to me that he missed my nose ring. I had taken it out in January, and I *thought* it had healed … I tried putting my nose ring in, and with a bit of poking and pushing, it opened up again! I also bought a set of hoop earrings (see below) at Target – I want to get my ears pieced a third time, and this cute little set comes with three earrings for each ear!

Dinner was interesting, ha! I had a few pieces of United chicken tenders (not that healthy, but hey, it’s protein) with ranch and ketchup (sugar :/ but I tried to keep my dipping lighter than in the past) ….

(The cats enjoyed dinner with me, damn them and their cuteness!)

Then I watched Game of Thrones with Luke … and I cried. No spoilers here, I promise …. but ugh. Have a good night, y’all! I’m off to bed.

~ Mandy


The “Leg” and Short of It

Howdy y’all!

Today started out with a protein shake ….

…. and soon after, my friend and I grabbed a polish sausage on the way from the bank (work-related). Yummy with taco sauce!

Lunch was a wrap from United with a side of ranch!

Work was fab :)! I enjoy my job a ton, and it’s fun to see my friends everyday! Yep, I have work friends, and I love them!

And after work was gym time – it was leg day. (Forgive my crazy raccoon-eyed face, I had taken a scoop of pre-workout and was feeling flushed!)

Aaaand dinner was a FABULOUS chopped salad with two eggs and some shredded cheese.

And now I’m off to clean up the apartment – I have lots of good energy after my workout, and it’s great to channel it into chores and cleaning.

Have a nice night, my friends!

~ Mandy

Lifting + Thriving

Hey guys! Last time I left you with a post about struggling with depression and mania – I talked to my doctor, and his nurse practitioner put me on lithium, but lithium didn’t seem to do much after a few weeks, so I’m off it. However, I think I’m on an upswing thanks to several factors.

Factor 1 – I’m lifting weights DAILY. And not pansy soccer mom weights to get toned – I’m lifting to get RIPPED.

Factor 2 – My job and my co-workers. My bosses totally understand that I have bipolar disorder, and they’re both very accommodating to me. No, I don’t get paid very much for my job, but damn if it’s not worth keeping right now because of my kind bosses and my sweet coworkers.

Factor 3 – The food situation. Luke’s giving me about $20 a day to buy my meals – I usually eat a piece of fruit or have a protein shake for breakfast, so I get 2 meals out of $20 …. it’s pretty nice! I’m focusing on eating less carbs (farewell, Auntie Annie’s pretzels at the mall 😦 ), and more protein.

Factor 4 – Acceptance of my body. Y’all. This is HUGE. I’ve accepted that I’m not meant to weigh 125 lbs again. I’ve accepted that my body is meant to be powerful. I currently weigh 155 lbs, and I’m OKAY WITH IT. In fact, I’d like to weigh around 165 with muscle. It’s AMAZING to have finally had a change of perspective after 20 years, and I truly hope it sticks (knock on wood).

Factor 5 – My support system. I don’t know where I’d be without my family and friends, particularly my Luke. He’s encouraging and comforting, but he’s also pushing me out of my comfort zone when it comes to weightlifting, and it’s wonderful – we all need a little push every now and then if you ask me.

Today was back day with weights – I’ve been doing weights consistently each day for about a week and a half now. We do reps in the order of 20-15-12-10-15, and it really does work me out!

Eats today ~

I hopped in the car bright and early to grab some Hydroxzyine from my pharmacy downtown (sans makeup and with wet hair because I needz mah pillz), and I grabbed a cold Starbucks coffee on the way home.

Torchy’s Tacos (a Baja Shrimp taco and a Trailer Park taco, trashy). We skipped the queso today, and I was happily full, not overly stuffed.

And a chicken salad made from a bagged salad and some chicken tenders a la United.

I also demolished a potato but didn’t document it – ugh, I was too full afterwards! That’s one of the many “post-ED issues” that I’m dealing with right now – being too full, overeating at times, and pooping often (yes, ED people often don’t poop).

And naturally I’ve been looking at some new workout clothing – Free People’s active wear is golden, so here are the workout clothes that I WaUnt ~

Give Your All Harem Pant in Tiger’s Eyes

Happiness Runs Bodysuit in Black or Vintage Alpine Lake

On the Road Pant in Heather Grey

About Town Harem Pant in Taupe

I’m going to give myself a lot more time working out and seeing how my body develops before buying any clothes – but these are fun to look at, and I do have a FP refund coming soon … maybe I’ll snag one or two pieces. 🙂

I’ll try to keep up with my blogging a bit more readily, so I’ll try another post tomorrow.

 ~ Mandy

Killer Workouts + Changing Courses

Hey guys! How are you today? I was tired for sure over Monday and Tuesday – Daylight Savings is a bitch, and I take back any chipper comments I made earlier about enjoying it.

Guess who’s been KILLING getting loyalty accounts and ESPECIALLY credit cards at work? THIS GIRL! Starting Monday to Thursday night (tonight) I’ve gotten 7 ENCC’s (Express Next Credit Cards). My secret is making the ENCC promotion sound like a short-time thing, a promotion that will go away soon (so people want to take advantage of it) and to mention the promotion to them as they shop, not when they get to the cash wrap.

I woke up to hit the gym on Monday, and OOH MY GOSH, I was too sore … I could barely walk. Ugh. That’s okay – I was on my feet all day today anyway with work, and since it was a rainy day today, it felt like a nice rest day.

I was so happy with myself before work on Monday too – I called and made three doctor’s appointments, which I tend to dread (I’m not a fan of the doctor, which is funny because my husband wants to be a PA). Since I’m a manager at Express, and our store manager creates the schedules for us four managers about a month in advance, I needed to get my dates in for my appointments – luckily my eye appointment falls on a day next week when I’m off (I’m almost out of contacts, plus I think my vision has changed a smidge).

On Tuesday, I simply slept in … it was raining, and while I set my alarm for a workout, I slept through it! :/ UGH.

On Wednesday, however, hubs and I did BACK … and then Thursday night after work, Luke and his friend Marc worked out arms and a bit of chest with me. 🙂


A banana with PB and coffee with cinnamon and almond milk.

One good ol’ plain banana!

… another banana with PB …

… and an apple with Tajin.


A honeycrisp apple with Tajin …

… and some roasted chicken with chicken dipping sauce and some red bell pepper and avocado with light Catalina.

A Boar’s Head turkey sandwich with broccoli, a few tomatoes, and some dressing.

… and a fried egg salad (it doesn’t look pretty but it was yummy!).


Cucumber with dressing and Kombucha!


Baked chicken breast with chicken dipping sauce (not too much, after all it’s about 150 kcal per 2 tbsp, which is a LOT), red bell pepper, broccoli, tomatoes, light dressing, and salsa.

A Frullati chicken pecan salad … let’s just say that I wasn’t a fan of this salad. 😦 Too much mayo in the chicken and the ranch dressing – YUCK … so I ate the greens. Icky.

And, of course, my favorite dinner (especially after a workout) = FILET with BLEU CHEESE

Interestingly, a development has occurred with my husband and his current degree plan in biology to become a Physician’s Assistant … he’s NOT happy or inspired with it, and he’s been struggling with a lot of stress and depression. His best friend (Marc, as previously mentioned) is a pre-med student who decided to switch to nursing in the fall, and Luke’s heavily considering switching his major to nursing – and to be honest, I think it’s a STELLAR idea. Why? Well …

…. many reasons. Becoming a P.A. is a daunting path and it’s SUPER competitive, especially for a white male like Luke; Luke was feeling the pressure of doing a ton of community service and keeping his grades tip top, all while working at Pak, and he’d been feeling pretty low and lost for a while.

Nursing school, however, is a bachelor’s degree … and Luke’s already half way done with the requirements due to basics and the biology degree. It has no silly requirements like community service, the program inundates the student into the nursing world through clinicals (you can even work at the hospital as a nursing student,) and it makes good money from the bachelor’s standpoint . If Luke wants to become a nurse anesthetist or something to the like, he can go back to school for a master’s or a doctorate once we’re more financially stable.  But no rush!

(And, as a bonus, I can finish my degree – I’m only 25 hours out from my General Studies with an Emphasis on English, and I plan on finishing once Luke has his bachelors!)

So that’s what’s been going on in the Martaus Household recently! Hope ya’ll have a nice day!

~ Mandy


A Reflection on My Epic Journey

Hey everyone and Happy Sunday (and Happy Spring Break)! Anyone out there besides me who’s enjoying the time change? No? Ha!

Obviously I had the weekend off because I’m posting frequently … my goal, however, is to post on the regular despite my job. I’m on the up and up from struggling with two eating disorders for nearly 20 years, a journey where I’ve had to retrain myself to eat, had to gain a little weight, etc in order to learn balance, and NOW the time is ripe for me to lose some chub and get muscular again. I’d like to document my journey on here, as it has been an EPIC journey so far, and I’m still hiking the winding path, only this part of the path is full of light, stability, and positivity. 🙂

Alrighty, here’s how my day went!

I merrily slept through breakfast this morning, but I made up for it over the course of the day.

Lunch – two eggs with salsa, broccoli, tomatoes, and yellow bell pepper with hummus and a bit of ranch. Coffee with almond milk (I’m switching from soy to almond b/c calories).

Afternoon Meal – an orange with Tajin and a Boar’s Head turkey wrap with dressing.

Persephone wanted some attention after I ate my meal, so I picked her up and cuddled …

And when Luke came home from seeing a friend, Caprica immediately climbed onto his chest and started rubbing his nose with her own, as she always does … she’s definitely Luke’s cat!

… and not to be left out, Calliope came rubbing on feet, so I picked her up – she wasn’t too thrilled, as you can tell, and I’m making a goofy face LMAO.

Luke and I hit the gym for an hour and did biceps and triceps.

At the gym, I complained about my ancient headset – I can’t wear earbuds very well with my Tragus piercing – and Luke surprised me by ordering this cordless rose gold headset …. I feel so spoiled!


Calliope decided to perch on the scratching post, and I caught her mid-jump and wide-eyed.


Dinner #1 – veg (red onion, carrots, broccoli, tomatoes, and orange bell pepper ) with 2 tbsp of hummus and about 2 tbsp of dressing.

Dinner #2 – a filet with bleu cheese, spinach, tomatoes, and dressing. My favorite bite of the day was the steak.

Here’s to a happier, healthier tomorrow, my friends!

~ Mandy